This article and associated images are ©2004 Brian and are published here with the authorization of its author. Original article with more pictures can be found here.

By Brian Brian lives in California, USA

Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5 | Day 6 | Epilog

 DAY 1: January 14, 2004

5:00PM, PST, Los Angeles, CA - Los Angeles Airport (LAX)

Well, here I am sitting at the ticket counter getting ready for my flight. As I enter the airport, it's busy as ever. It's always busy at LAX but I didn't expect it to be this busy on a Wednesday evening. I walk over the Delta/Air France counter and check in my luggage. One for check in, one I will carry on the plane. I speak the to counter agent who gives me my boarding pass and asks the typical pre-flight questions.

"Has anyone given you something to carry for them?"
"Are you carrying any firearms?"

After the brief questionnaire I head over to security. They open my bags and rumble through them. Finding nothing, they let me head over to the X-Ray machine which went surprisingly quickly. The only snag was my fingernail clippers which they let me keep. Thanks guys! Slap my shoes back on and sit at the bar waiting to board.

At the bar I meet a nice lady heading to Atlanta, GA. Unfortunately her trip was not a nice one. Her father had just died and she was heading home for the funeral. I tried to carry on a conversation about something other than her father as she manages to down at least three heavy drinks. I felt really bad for her but I did all I could do which was to keep her mind off of it for a while. She soon leaves for her plane and I head to catch mine.

On the way to the gate I meet a French lady who, unfortunately, doesn't speak any English. I managed to test my French a little and basically tell her thanks for her time. As I wait at the gate they eventually start calling everyone to board the flight. Air France calls out instructions in French first (duh!) then in English. I do manage to pick up some of the information in French though they do speak very fast.

We eventually load up and with bags all packed, pull up the landing gear about an hour late. Let me tell you, Air France is the best Airline I have ever flown. They have great service, exquisite food and are very friendly and polite. They have the US Airlines beat to pieces. They even GIVE you headphones, eye blinders, ear plugs and all the things you need to be comfortable on a long flight.

As we head out on our non stop flight across the US and the Atlantic, I start up a conversation with the man seated next to me. He's from Morocco and is with his sister. Unfortunately they too have had a death in the family and they are flying back to Morocco via Paris to attend the funeral. After chatting for a brief while we all crash for the night. Other than the girl to my right and one row behind who wouldn't quit laughing at the in flight movie, the flight was perfect!

 DAY 2: January 15, 2004

3:00PM, Paris France - Charles de Gaulle airport (Paris Airport)

Exhausted, we arrive in Paris. After a brief check of my passport, I head over to baggage claim which was easy to find. However, just like LAX, the luggage takes a long time to make it to the claim area.

We arrived in Terminal 2 which is a gorgeous and newly redesigned area of the airport. It's one of the nicest I have been to and structurally very beautiful. As I grab my bags (finally) I search out and find the signs for the Metro. One of my friends (Dusty) who was also on his way to Paris had been kind enough to map out the Metro for me and I found the right train.

Le Metro

After grabbing my metro ticket ($10 euro from the Airport to the hotel. Beat that in LA trying to go from LAX to OC!!!) I hop on the first RER train. As you can tell from the pictures I provided, the metro is clean, cheap and by far the most convenient form of travel in France. I wish we had a system like this in LA. I could give up my car and not be worried at all.

After a 1/2 hour ride the train makes the stop at Gare du Nord. Gare du Nord is the main terminal where all the trains in Paris meet. All the Metro and RER lines go to Gare du Nord and from there you can go anywhere in Paris, France or pretty much Europe! I grab my next train which drops me off right close to my hotel. Unfortunately the first person I spoke to gave me the wrong hotel and I ended up walking about 2 miles to the other ETAP hotel.

Funny moment. While walking to the wrong hotel I noticed a car trying to do a u-turn on the small street in Pantin. Of course, he ended up running over the sidewalk to do so. In the middle of the sidewalk he ran over a manhole cover and BONK! Down his car went. Teetering on the unibody and rocking between the road and the manhole, his poor little front wheel drive car had no traction and was resting on the body, STUCK! That's got to be one of the most hilarious car scenes I saw in Paris, next to the Taxi ride :)

After getting to the wrong hotel I was given directions to the right hotel, grabbed a cab for 4 euros and was finally at my 5 day home in Paris.

I walk in and say what I will learn to say at every greeting in Paris: "BONJOUR! Parlez- vous anglais?" which loosely translated means - Hello! Do you speak English? Unfortunately the clerks's English was as bad as my French. Their system wasn't accepting my American Express and I was worried I wouldn't be able to stay there for the night. That's where all the Americans coming to Paris for the vacation/concert were staying. After about 1/2 hour my friend Mark from Orléans shows up. He's a very cool American who teaches English at a high school in Orléans, France.

My tiny room at the ETAP hotel.

After several tries with my cards (which do not work) Mark offers his which goes right through. That's thank you number one of 1000 to come, Mark! I grab my bags and toss them in the room and grab my camera. I snapped a picture of how small but cute the room was and we head down the street to grab something to eat.

We were going to wait for our friend, Dusty, but "Mr. Map King" was lost on the metro (hehe) and was going to be very late. Mark gave Dusty the right directions and told him we'd meet him at the hotel later. Mark and I headed to a small Turkish restaurant just a few blocks from the hotel. There we macked down on some great food and were waited on by a girl who, as soon as she realized we were from the US could not stop staring at us (in a good way!).

We needed to head to an ATM so I could give Mark back the cash for the room. Also, my phone wasn't working in Paris so Mark and I headed to an internet Café. I called AT&T to fix the problem and post on the Pyromania forums that all was well.

After a while we met up with Dusty and made introductions. We walked down the street to a small pub which we have affectionately dubbed "The fuck you" bar. Here's the story. Mark, Dusty and I say there for at least an hour drinking the French beers. After a while, Mark had to head back as he had a class to teach in the morning. He said he would try and meet us in the afternoon for site seeing. So that left me and Dusty. We tried to start up a conversation with the bartender. I had been tipping him well all night and I guess he wasn't used to that.

After a few minutes of frustrating attempts to communicate, he brought out a piece of paper and began drawing. On the paper he drew "France" as he said in a thick French accent. Then he drew a dot and said "Paris". Then he drew a small dot in the Northwest of Paris and said the city (which I think was Pontoise) and I understood he was from there. Then he drew a map of the UK above France and said "Vous?". (you)

I replied "Pas Royal Mini, Etas Uni". His jaw dropped. He thought we were from the UK but as soon as I said "Not UK, United States" he was floored. I guess he doesn't get many Americans in his bar, especially during the winter. As this scene progressed, a man from Algeria who spoke broken but somewhat understandable English introduced himself. At first I was worried being an American in Paris. But they were both very friendly. He said "You are from Etas Uni, no?" I said "Yes" and he said "We hate Bush. We like Etas Uni, we hate Bush". I raised my beer and said "I'm right with you, brother!". We all laughed. That eased any tension and we all relaxed.

After a while I showed my California license to the Bartender and he figured out easily that my last name was French (obviously!). But I told the Algerian man that my mom was from Austria (she was born there). Then the Algerian man and the Bartender were arguing about my last name. They started laughing as I explained they were both right. Then the bartender looks at me, smiles, then looks at the Algerian man and in plain English says: "F*** YOU!". The only clear English words he said all night!!!! We all started laughing so hard!!! It was very funny.

Not long after, Dusty and I headed to the hotel. At around 2am I headed to my room and flipped on the TV. I was surprised to find the Simpsons were on and dubbed in French. They are funny enough in English but dubbed in French was hilarious! After watching the BBC for a while I set the alarm and headed to bed.

 DAY 3: January 16, 2004

1:00PM, Paris France - ETAP Hotel, Porte de Pantin

I already had a text message waiting from Dusty at 8am to meet him downstairs. Obviously he didn't want to wait so he bolted for Paris. Me, 5 hours later, showered, got dressed and headed out the door to Paris. I had a couple of stops to make and I needed to get going. Did I say Paris was COOOOOOOOOLD?!

A great puppet show in the Metro!

I walked the block down to the Metro stop and got an all day pass for 5 euro! That basically allowed me to take any train in zone 1 and 2, which is basically all of Paris. I can't tell you what a great deal that was. This was my first real day on the metro so I grabbed a map and started studying. It's an amazingly simple system that you can pick up in a few hours. On the ride there I got an serenade from an accordian player and a puppet show (which was GREAT!!). Woo! Nothing like inexpensive entertainment while you are waiting on the metro. Of course, I like to people watch so that's entertainment enough for me.

You can park your bike just about anywhere in Paris.

My first stop was Bastille. I wanted to take a few pictures and then head to the FNAC store to pick up a few CD's and my concert ticket. Both the Bastille and the FNAC store were right at the Metro stop so that made things very easy. Paris was bustling on Friday and there were motorcycles parked everywhere! It's neat to see all the European motorcycles and how they can park just about anywhere they want to! Makes me wish we had that in the US!

The Eiffel Tower and the Peace monument

After I stopped to take a few pics and shop at the FNAC store, I headed back down to the Metro and took the RER to the Eiffel Tower. That was a fun stop and one that I took a lot of pictures of as you can tell from the number of photos of the tower. Mark called shortly after I arrived and within a 1/2 hour he met me in front of the Eiffel Tower right next to the Police bus. Interesting all the Police around the tower. They were in force.

Mark and I took a few pics of each other in front of the tower. Then we headed just north of the tower to the Military Academy (Ecole Militaire) and the Peace Monument. It started raining so we bolted to the Metro and headed back to the hotel.

There Mark got his room for the night and we headed to Porte de Pantin to check out Le Zénith. Le Zénith was where Alizée's concert was, the last of tour. We had a friend, Ron, coming in from Pittsburg who was bound and determined to stake out a spot in line at midnight but we found out he couldn't do that. So around 8pm, Mark, Dusty and Jarod (A Dutch gent!) headed in to town around 9pm and got dinner at a really nice little Café. I had roast duck and potatoes. Man the food is great in Paris!

After dinner, we headed to the Café de la Musique. It was a very nice but expensive bar right next to le Zenith where we met a few other friends and pounded more beer. We had a really cool waiter named William. [...]

Around 2 am we head back to the hotel to find Ron. When we got there we found out he had headed to le Zénith to camp out but the guards sent him to the hotel. We found him and Dusty on the walk back to the hotel. We told everyone to hit the sack and we'd see them early in the AM at le Zénith.

 DAY 4: January 17, 2004

8:00am, Paris France - le Zénith, Porte de Pantin

Le Zénith Concert hall

At 8:00am, a hung over Mark and I head to Le Zénith where sure enough Ron is in line at the venue - but someone is ahead of him. It seems Ron missed being first in line by a few minutes.

So Mark and I offer to go to McDonald's (yuck!) to get Ron something to eat. We grab the food and head back to the line. There we wait with Ron as more friends start showing up. Eventually Riccardo from Germany shows up and him and Ron hold our spot in line. Mark and I head back to our hotel rooms and get a few hours sleep.

At 3:00pm we show up back at Le Zénith. There are a lot more people in line now and we drop off a bag of McDonald's. I didn't eat all day and I still couldn't eat a hambuger. McDonald's SUCKS! So I down a few cokes (great in Paris as they have cane sugar in them and not corn syrup like we have in the States) and wait for a while.

As we wait in line the first guy had been there to bring in all his friends. In France this is acceptable. Well, he let about 20 of his friends ahead of us which really started to bother us, but what can you do? So we let our friends in line and had a group roughly the same size as they did.

[...]

After 7:15 they FINALLY let us in to the venue. My legs were killing me so I let the guys get a front seat for the show. The show started about an hour later and we had a great time. Alizée was great as expected and it was nice to see her in person finally. And let me tell you, she's is BETTER LOOKING in person than in the photos or video. During the show some idiot made his way to right behind me and started pushing. He wanted to get up front but he wasn't going to be nice about it. He kept jumping on my back and screaming so about 5 minutes of this and I put my elbow in his chest.

He disappeared after that :)

We enjoyed the rest of the show and then headed back to the Café de la Musique. There we had many people from all over Europe at the bar. We had to wait for Riccardo as he got to go meet Alizée. After he showed up we walked around Pantin looking for a bar but all of them were closed. We finally ended up at another Turkish restaurant where we all decided to just eat and have a beer. We had a small food fight there and one of the French guys there wanted to interview me about the shirt I designed for the show. He was really enamoured with it. We made sure Alizée got a copy of that shirt too.

After that we all said goodbye to the Europeans heading home and the rest of us crashed in our rooms.

 DAY 5: January 18, 2004

9:00am, Paris France - ETAP Hotel, Porte de Pantin

At 9:00am I headed downstairs to see who was around. Ron, Angéelique, Laura, Starski and AS Monaco were there all just hanging out eating breakfast. Everyone but Dusty came down so Mark, Ron and Me and headed in to Paris to sight see.

L'Arc de Triomphe

Our first stop was the FNAC in Bastille but it was closed! So we went to Champs Elysées and found a bigger FNAC so Ron could do some shopping for CDs and such. We took some pictures of the Arc de Triomphe and then got some lunch at a really nice Cafe right on the Champs. The Café was really nice and the view of the Champs was great. We even spotted a Camaro and a Jeep. Not something I expected to see in Paris.

We then headed over to the Eiffel Tower so Ron could get some pics. About that time a VERY HUNG OVER Dusty managed to make it over. From there we went shopping at a Virgin Record store for more CDs then we decided we should head over to the Louvre before it closed. When we got there, Ron said he was hungry again so we decided that we should hit some of the restaurants in the Louvre.

Ok, this part of the story was so funny it was worth the trip alone!

We knew Dusty was hung over but he managed to keep up with us throughout the day. From the Metro to the stores to everywhere. He managed to mention he was hung over but little did we know, he was REALLY hurting. Credit Dusty for hiding it so well.

As we perused the eateries there in the Louvre, we all settled for Mexican food (of all things!) and sat down to eat. We mostly talked about the concert the night before and all the cool people we met and things we had done since we had been in Paris. About 10 minutes into the meal, Dusty gets up and walks away. We didn't think anything of it at the time.

About 2 minutes later he walks back to the table, his face as white as a ghost! He says to us "Guys....I just puked..." I looked at him and I said WHERE DID YOU PUKE?! He thought I said "What did you puke?!" and replied "My food." I said "No Dusty, WHERE did you puke?" Dusty mumbles out and points "Right there, in the trash can".

Well, what Dusty was pointing at was a trash can about 25 feet away. It was very McDonalds like with a wide and thin stainless steel opening (still swinging by the way!!!). Right next to the can were two girls from the UK who were LAUGHING THEIR ASSES OFF!!! Obviously they had witnessed Dusty ralph into the can and just could not contain themselves!

Well as soon as we saw the can, the girls, and took a look at Dusty, our whole table table exploded in laughter!!!! Between us, the girls and Dusty, the entire place was full of everyone in tears laughing. We could not believe that he could have the conscious mind to twist his head in there sideways and barf his brains out. And the thought of just his head stuck in the trash can while his body was convulsing outside of it was enough to send us into a rage of laughter.

Dusty sat down and we laughed a while about it. A few minutes later Ron gets up a disappears for just a moment. He comes back seconds later and says "Guys, I looked. It's yellow!" referring to Dusty's "upchucking" in the trash can. Well that started the laughter again. I swear our sides were hurting from laughing so hard.

Dusty, thank you for the laugh man. That alone was comedy money just could not buy! We make fun of your plight but know that we weren't laughing AT you, we were laughing WITH you. You're a good sport.

Mona Lisa

After that hilarious moment, we went down to the Louvre and got to see some really nice pieces of Artwork including the Mona Lisa! The Louvre's collection of Egyptian art is outstanding and I ended up taking most of my pictures there. It's so big that it really requires a full day to truly appreciate it. Some of the world's most famous artpieces are housed there. I highly recommend you visit the Louvre if you go to Paris.

 DAY 6: January 19, 2004

9:00am, Paris France - Café de la Musique

At 10:30 we say goodbye to Mark who had to teach a class in the morning. Once again I have to say thank you to Mark for being a great tour guide, interpreter and all around nice guy. He gave up basically three days to keep us from looking like "stooges" in Paris and really getting the most from our visit. Thanks again, Mark!

At 11:30 our awesome waiter William tells us where we can go hit the town - The Champs Elysées! We had tried a lot of bars in the Pantin area but they close early. So we headed down to a pretty cool Salsa bar right off the Champs.

We enter the place and it's really only about 1/4 full but there are plenty of cute girls in there and lots of salsa dancing going on. We're there about 15 minutes and I decide to start up a conversation with a really sexy French girl and her very cute friend. The conversation is going great and after a few minutes she asks me to dance.

"I don't salsa" I say to her. "Oh come on!" she says in broken English. "No really" I replied "I don't salsa". So off she drags me on to the dance floor. Her cute friend grabs Ron and they start dancing. Well, he's really twirling her around and she's loving it. As I am on the dance floor I try and tell her, "I don't salsa" and about 10 seconds into it she realizes I am not kidding and gets mad. So I walk back upstairs to find Ron still twirling her friend. The minute her friend sees me she makes a bee line to her friend downstairs. Apparently, they either both dance or none do :)

We all go back to drinking and having a good time. We spark up conversations with the locals but for the most part, a lot of them did not speak English and our French was terrible so we were not getting anywhere. Note to all Americans headed to Paris: LEARN FRENCH FIRST!!! You will be 100 times better off it you plan to spend more than a few days there. There is more to the party story but for the most part, we all just got buzzed and headed to the hotel to crash.

In the morning, Dusty, Ron and I headed to the Metro and said our goodbyes at the Airport. The plane ride back to LA was uneventful. The only thing that concerned me was the security at Charles de Gaulle. It was much more relaxed than at LAX.

The next page contains an overview of my thoughts on the trip and my thanks. Please read it as I think it's worthy information.

 EPILOG

MY THOUGHTS ABOUT THE PEOPLE OF PARIS AND MY THANK YOU TO EVERYONE!

First let me dispel some unfounded rumors about the people of Paris. The French are NOT rude people and they do NOT hate Americans. What the French hate are the same things we hate in America. If someone from France came to America and started speaking to you in French - EXPECTING you to understand them - would you feel insulted? Sure you would. That happens to the French all the time and I don't blame them for feeling that way.

The #1 rule in Paris I found out (Thanks for the tip Mark!) is you should always, ALWAYS say BON JOUR or BON SOIR when you first greet someone. Everyone in Paris does this it's simply a customary and respectful thing to do. Not to mention POLITE! Then you should say in French: "Parlez-vous anglais?" If they do, they will usually respond in English. If not, try your best to communicate in French or better yet, do like we did and have someone with you that speaks French! If you just take a few hours a week to learn the basics before you go, it will help you out immensely.

The French do not hate America. In fact, most of the people I met spoke highly of the US and very poorly of George Bush. I agree with them! But I also believe I was treated well in France simply because I made an attempt to follow the French customs, be polite and try and remember than whatever I do, like it or not, I am an ambassador of the US. Whatever I do, however I act, it's a reflection of the US to the French people or wherever you are outside the US. The same as we think here when a person from abroad comes over. We assume everyone is like that person and it's just not the truth. The golden rule applies. Do unto others as you would have done to you. It works.

When I was trying to find the right RER train at Gare du Nord, a scruffy, tattooed kid walked up to me. He knew I was lost and I thought he would ask me for money. Instead, he said in English "Sir, are you lost?" and I said "Umm, well I am trying to find the RER B" and he said "Around the corner over there." Surprised I replied "Merci beucoup!" He smiled, said "de rien" and continued on his way. I thought to myself "Wow, I never expected that. That was great!"

Even when you tell people in Paris you are from the US they will not be insulted you are there. In fact, they probably be surprised you admitted it. But say it not boastfully but with respect. I did not brag that I was from the US. I did not flaunt it. I just answered when asked. And my actions showed them that I appreciated being in Paris - because I did! Again, it's all about respect for the country you are visiting.

Would I go back to Paris?! TRY AND STOP ME!!! It's a wonderfully rich city that takes WEEKS to see some of the most historic places on earth. I plan to go back as soon as I can and take at least 2-3 weeks to see sites I missed and visit friends I made. I will also be more fluent in French and hope to be able to carry on conversations with the Parisians.

SPECIAL THANKS TO:

Mark Black - The world's greatest tour guide in France. Thank you my friend.
Alizée - Thank you for being who you are. The world needs more just like you! I am glad I made it to the last show. It was worth every penny I spent to get there!
My new friends from the Alizée Forums - Thank you for making me feel welcome in Paris.
Hervé Foucher - Your French lessons helped me more than you can imagine!
Riccardo Ulpts - Without your forums, where would we hang out!?
Ron and Dusty - I couldn't think of two cooler guys to explore Paris with!!

Do yourself a favor and visit France. You'll be glad you did.